LaTasha Nesbitt | May 28, 2026
If you spend much time around church, you can feel the anxiety humming under the surface.
We see headlines about young people leaving the church, a youth mental health crisis, and a generation that lives on their phones. The quiet question many adults carry is, “Do teenagers even want us in their lives anymore?”
FYI’s latest report on Generation Alpha and Faith suggests the resounding answer is YES! However, the nuances might be different from what you expect.
The life-changing impact of thoughtful mentorship
Before I get into the details, I’m reminded about some of the significance of mentorship in my own life. As a Xennial (the bridge generation between Gen X and Millennials, born between 1977–1981), I didn’t understand what mentorship would mean, particularly as I prepared to become a college student. The first-generation college student in my family, I knew that while I strived to get good grades, a high school education would not be sufficient for the kind of life I wanted to lead. I was privileged to have youth directors who stirred my spiritual curiosities. But when it came to academic life ambition, I turned to a few key teachers and coaches in middle and high school. Bronwyn Greene, my middle school dance coach, embodied true creativity. She was an artist. Though not a popular career path, she chose to pursue it full-time and was able to make a living teaching other art students for 30 years. Ms. Greene was the first person I knew up close who completed college. We had endless conversations about college life and the doors it opened for her, the many possibilities it created for her life, and the many relationships she maintained over the years that began when she was on campus.
Marvinetta Woodley Penn, my high school dance coach, proved to be another mentor who would help guide me along the way. Ultimately, I chose the school she attended because it was within driving distance but far enough from home that I could learn independence and have the true college experience. It was Marvinetta’s tenacious nature and drive that drew me in. I saw in her something I wanted to cultivate in myself. So I maximized every moment in her presence. I would ask questions, seemingly out of the blue. Still, we have maintained a relationship and built an organization geared towards mentoring other young women pursuing their creative careers. For me, mentors were guides who showed me the possibilities of college and dreams were achievable.
Though I didn’t yet have the language to name what was happening, the mentorship I received in middle and high school became a defining source of inspiration, shaping my path, and igniting a vision I would later learn to articulate.
And yet, inspiration is not enough.
The mentor Gen Alpha teens are looking for
According to our recent report, Generation Alpha is interested in mentors who do more than inspire. Young people want adults who make a true difference. Our team surveyed nearly 3,000 13-17-year-olds across the US and asked them a straightforward question: What makes an adult trustworthy?
Across every racial group and age range, the top response was the same: “They listen without judging me.”
Not “They have all the answers.” Not “They always know the Bible verse.” Not “They’re fun and charismatic.” Not “They inspire me to feel great about myself or my future.”
Teens told us that the number one marker of a trustworthy adult is nonjudgmental listening.
And when we asked what would make it easier to talk to adults about faith or life questions, the top two responses were:
- “Less pressure to have the right answer.”
- “Not worrying about being judged.”
This was fascinating for our team to learn. A generation coming of age in an era of polarization and performative perfection is not asking for more certainty from us. They’re asking for less pressure and less judgment.
The mentor Gen Alpha wants isn’t the adult who presents as perfect. It’s the adult who listens without judging, and is willing to wrestle honestly with hard things alongside them.
In other words, young people do not want adults who perform. They want real people. They want adults who are open to hearing their hearts, their hurts, and their concerns.
How to mentor today’s Gen Alpha teens
During our research interviews, one student said, “I think more adults should do a day in the life of a teen, so they can truly understand what we are going through.” Teen lives are complex, and they want adults who make space for that complexity. They want adults who are curious, not closed.
If your mental picture of good mentorship means always inspiring, always speaking, always explaining, always defending the faith, Gen Alpha is inviting you into something different:
- Less lecturing, more listening.
- Less correcting, more curiosity.
- Less polished certainty, more honest presence.
Contrary to popular belief, your questions and struggles might actually make you more approachable if you’re willing to hold them with humility and hope, rather than cynicism.
When we asked teens to rank what makes an adult trustworthy, they didn’t stop at nonjudgmental listening. Their top five responses were:
- They listen without judging me.
- They follow through on what they say.
- They respect my views even if they disagree.
- Their actions match their values.
- They know me well.
This is the profile of the mentor Gen Alpha wants: attentive, consistent, respectful, integrous, and genuinely interested.
Notice what’s underneath that list. Teenagers are looking for adults whose lives hold together. Not lives without struggle, but lives where there isn’t a huge gap between what they proclaim and how they actually live. They want adults who:
- Don’t pretend to be perfect, but still hold themselves accountable to Christian standards.
- Can say, “I was wrong about that,” and then change.
- Show up when they say they will, and apologize and repair when they can’t.
- Make space for teens’ perspectives instead of shutting them down—even when they disagree.
One teen described the kind of mentor they long for like this:
“A mentor who sets aside time for you, goes and does something with you, checks in, and remembers what’s going on in your life.”
Another explained:
“Someone who expresses that they want to spend time with you and actually does spend time with you.”
Gen Alpha teens can spot the difference between adults who post about “loving the next generation” and those who actually remember their chemistry exam, show up to the choir concert or basketball games, and circle back to last week’s hard conversation.
The importance of authentic relationships for today’s teens
For younger teens (13–15), the second most important trust factor, after nonjudgmental listening, is “They know me well.” For older teens (16–17), trust leans more toward respect and integrity: “They respect my views even if they disagree,” “They follow through on what they say,” and “Their actions match their values.”
Vulnerability and transparency don’t mean putting all your internal turmoil on display or processing unfiltered in front of a 14‑year‑old. They look like:
- Letting teens see you as a real person who remembers, follows through, and tells the truth.
- Naming your own limits instead of pretending you don’t have any.
- Being honest about where you’re still learning, while staying anchored in Jesus.
If I’m honest, as a former “fixer,” the idea of taking on a new mentee these days has felt intimidating, especially in our current cultural climate. I’m a pastor and parent of teens, and I’ve wrestled privately with the weight of a world that can be chaotic. At times, I’ve wanted to scream but chosen silence instead. And I know I’m not alone.
Yet, as I’m learning from Gen Alpha, their voices suggest that this wrestling can be done with humility and in safety. This generation is growing up in the middle of intense cultural conversations about politics, race, sexuality, mental health, and the failures of institutions—including the church. They know the world is complicated, and frankly, they don’t trust adults who pretend it isn’t.
As I consider this, I’m reminded of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s words: “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Young people don’t want us to have all the answers; they want us to be honest about our questions, our limits, and our ongoing growth.
Formation 